"I had known for a good year that things weren't right. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't thinking clearly, I had withdrawn from everyone, I felt overwhelmed and stressed all the time. Friends would ask me if I was okay and I would just brush them off by saying I was just tired or had a lot on at work. But really, I knew I was really unhappy. I was fighting back tears a lot of the time, and couldn't see anything good about my life or my future.

Then one night I broke down to a friend, and was amazed when he told me he'd seen a therapist a couple of years ago and that he'd encourage me to go and talk. He gave me Janny's business card, and urged me to make an appointment. He said he could recommend them highly, and that a number of people he knew had been there over the years to see Janny, and that he'd highly recommend her. It really surprised me that I wasn't the only one.

I kept it in my wallet for another 4 months or so, because every now and then things would feel better for a little while and so I would convince myself that I didn't need to go.

But one Sunday evening, late, I went onto her website and sent Janny a message. I still played down how bad things really were, and said I was a bit stressed and needed a few techniques to help me manage it. I knew it was much worse than that, but I felt embarrassed to say it like it really was.

We set up an appointment, and I felt both relieved and scared at the same time.I nearly backed out when I turned into the road as well. I nearly turned the car around and drove off. But I'm so glad I didn't. I'm so glad I knocked on her door.

That night was the turning point. The relief of talking to someone who made it easy to talk and who just seemed to get it was unimaginable. Gradually and very gently Janny helped me to say the things I'd been bottling up. And she had a way of drawing all the different threads together in a way that started to make sense of it all. She picked up everything, and seemed to hold it all and then give it back to me so I could start to hear what I was really saying, and so everything started to feel more manageable.

And it wasn't just stuff about now. And it wasn't that I talked and she just listened. It was a lively two-way conversation, not like some people I'd heard describe where they'd been asked to fill out tick boxes, or where they'd been talking to someone who didn't seem to say much back. She said lots back, and gave shape and meaning to what I said. Stuff now and stuff from the past. And it all linked up, it all started to make sense.

I realised that who we are is the story of what we've known, and therefore of what we've come to expect and believe. And I came to see that who I was now was all about who I'd been, what I'd lived, what I'd known and the sense I'd made of those things. It had never occurred to me that other people in the world might see those things differently, or might not react the way I did. Janny referred to it as the way we 'cut and paste' our own experiences onto everything we come into contact with. I came to see that I would react to certain people in exactly the ways I might once have reacted to other significant people in my life. Like I was replaying the same old stories over and over again without knowing I was doing it.

I learned that feelings and thoughts were different things, and I discovered how the mind affects the body and vice versa. I realised that memory is really powerful, and that sometimes I felt like an adult, but lots of the time I felt like a child. Janny helped me to see that this was when old memories took over, and showed me how to get back into an adult place and feel empowered again.

Together we unravelled how I spent so much of my life pretending, being what other people wanted me to be, trying to do and say what would make people like me, but that this meant I wasn't ever really being myself. In fact, worse still, I realised with a shock that I didn't even know who I was because it had been so long since I'd been able to notice what I really felt or really thought.

Janny talked about something called a 'false self,' a sort of mask we learn to wear and show to the world because that's what we've come to believe the world wants. We wear it to protect ourselves so we don't get hurt or shamed or rejected or make people angry or upset. We become so good at wearing it that eventually we don't even know we're doing it.

But the problem with that mask is that, although it seems to protect us, it actually also hides who we really are, even from ourselves. We don't know what we really feel or think about anything, we don't know what our likes are, our interests are, what we want to do or to be. Everything starts to feel a bit empty and meaningless, like we're just existing and trying hard to meet everyone else's needs. I realised that I had a lot of feelings underneath about all of that.

I had kind of known some of this, but I think I'd been really scared to look at it. I couldn't see how that was ever going to change, and had thought that if I tried to change I would lose everyone.

But Janny helped me to think about that, without any pressure at all to do anything unless and until I was ready. She never pushed, just encouraged and empowered. She helped me believe that my life could be different, and to understand that change happens in small steps, tiny changes, and that we can take our time.

That's the thing about being given space. Janny sort of held a space that I could gradually become myself in, a safe space where I could try things out and think out loud without having to do anything in the outside world until I was ready.

And that gradually turned everything around. I would experiment by maybe saying things slightly differently, or by saying what I wanted sometimes instead of saying I didn't mind. It felt good, and the world didn't end.

As I got braver, I began to risk saying things I never would have thought possible in a million years. But by now I wanted to say them, I didn't want to pretend. Being myself and speaking up with my own voice had become too important for me to just go along with things anymore.

The great thing, also, was that Janny had a huge wealth of techniques and advice about how to speak in a way that meant I would be heard but wouldn't give offence. I realised that even when I might have wanted to say something before I wouldn't have known how to begin. Now I was learning techniques and strategies that really worked, and made me feel like I could do it. I felt skilled and my confidence was growing.

Wherever I wanted to go, Janny would go there with me. In that space, we could talk about anything and prepare for anything. I used to joke that I had her there with me on my shoulder whenever I would tackle something that felt a bit challenging. It was such a good feeling to have that support, and to have that space to go back to and review how things had gone.

I look back sometimes and pinch myself. I never would have thought this could be me. I never would have thought I could have turned my life around like this. Life feels easy and no longer scary or stressful, because I'm no longer pretending. What you see is what you get now, so there's nowhere to fall.

I now carry that business card around with me, and I've passed on the details to a number of friends and colleagues. A close friend who's having a difficult time following the loss of her baby is seeing Janny at this moment, and is finding her calmness and ability to make sense of what's going on so helpful. And a couple I know saw Janny a few months ago and turned their relationship around. I'm totally converted! I think everyone should go and get this kind of help.

If you're like me, putting it off and putting it off, I just want to say don't do that anymore. Make yourself more important than that. Pick up the phone and get in touch. You won't look back."